


A Modern Love Story

by obicifical



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M, OC red engineer, engi rivalry, tavish and jane being bros, tiny baby sentry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obicifical/pseuds/obicifical
Summary: It's the summer of love. Dell and Jane try to make things work with a war going on; Tavish tries to redirect the dumpster fire, and the rest of RED and BLU continue as normal (trying to kill each other).





	A Modern Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I'm going to complete this, but hey, it's not that bad.

He tasted copper in his mouth as he swung the wrench forward blindly, dark liquid splattering over his goggles and obscuring his vision. The Spy somewhere in front of him danced out of his reach, and Dell faintly saw the electric crackle of a sapper being applied to his dispenser through the sheen of blood coating his goggles. His head throbbed; he reached up and touched his own bared skull, dropping to his knees, his forebrain idly interested in the texture of bone against his bare fingertips.

"Tch, Laborer, you _are_ off your game this round, aren't you?" The RED Spy helpfully placed his dented helmet back onto his head, and Dell heard the click of his switchblade coming out. He plopped back onto his haunches and accepted the bite of the blade into his back, and when he opened his eyes he lifted up his helmet and ran his palm over his head just to make sure everything was in its right place.

Christ, but being killed was a strange feeling sometimes. Dell never really got used to it like the other members of his team; sure, after a while seeing his own intestines strewn over the dusty ground stopped being quite so horrifying, but it still stuck in his mind at night. And Lord forbid seeing his teammates blown apart, too.

Toolbox slung over his shoulder, Dell went out into the field again, this time backed up by Demo- which in his opinion just made them a bigger target altogether, what with Demo's haphazard aim, but no Spy dared sneak up on Dell with a Demo backing him up and that was what mattered.

Gathering the remains of his sentry nest, the Engineer set it up again, Demo moving off to a comfortable distance after setting a nice stickybomb trap behind Dell just in case. This time Dell sandwiched himself in behind a shiny new dispenser, inhaling the chemical scent of the healing beam as he set up the sentry directly in front of himself- not ideal, but the fight was too violent to push any further outwards. He barely had time to upgrade it to level two before the RED Heavy came around the corner and sprayed lead hell at the both of them; Dell ducked behind his dispenser and jammed his fingers in his ears as Demo's stickybomb trap went off. The sentry took care of whatever was left of the Heavy, and as Dell peeked over the top of his dispenser he caught a glimpse of the RED Heavy's lolling tongue and glassy eyes a half-second before Respawn claimed the titan's body.

"Good job, son," Dell mumbled, resting his forehead against the sentry's warm chassis as he repaired it. The sentry beedled at him complacently, then smacked him in the noggin with the force of its recoil as it took out the RED Scout. Dell cursed under his breath, then shouted a very crude thing indeed when Scout's gun went off with the impact of his body hitting the ground and hit Dell in the shoulder.

He sucked in a big breath and moved into range of his dispenser's healing beam, hollering a royal storm as the effect forced the bullet to retrace its steps and fall onto the ground with a red splatter. Fancy thing that was that Medic had installed into it somehow, but it hurt like a son of a bitch at the best of times.

With careful, gloved fingers he picked up the bullet and tucked it into the pocket of his overalls; from in front of him the sentry beeped as it registered a target, and Dell reflexively dove behind his dispenser as it fired.

"DO NOT SHOOT AT ME, MAGGOT! I DID NOT FIRE FIRST!"

Oh, hell. Dell peered over his dispenser and caught a glimpse of red jacket before the RED Soldier ducked out of sentry range. He reached out and tapped the sentry with his wrench, grumbling various disparaging things about the RED Soldier's mental state. "Down, boy. What the hell are you doin', Solly?"

"I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A GIFT!" Soldier, apparently still distrustful of Dell's sentry, tossed a box over the hill blocking the sentry's view of him. Dell eyed it suspiciously; the sentry beeped a target lock again.

"Shush, boy." Dell caught a glimpse of Soldier's gunmetal eyes under his lolling helmet, pursing his lips. "Thank you?" he tried, shouting it above the ambient din of blood and battle.

"YOU ARE WELCOME! DO NOT OPEN IT ON THE BATTLEFIELD!" And Soldier was off, rocketjumping onto the roof of the building bracing Dell's back. The Engineer watched him go, flying like a graceful bird right up until he actually made impact and had to scramble for purchase on the aluminum roofing.

What a strange man. Dell still had no idea how he'd managed to win his affections, but hell, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He jogged out and grabbed the box, backing up out of reflex until he nearly stumbled over his sentry, and tucked the box underneath his arm.

\--

"Well, now," Dell muttered to himself, setting the box down on his workbench. It was plain brown, taped together with blue duct tape haphazardly, and somewhat heavy. It thumped softly when shook, not that the Engineer shook it too much-- he didn't want to damage whatever was inside.

Taking his pocketknife, he cut the tape holding the box shut and opened it carefully, reverently. He was greeted with newspapers stuffed in the box, apparently serving as packing peanuts. Taking those out revealed a wrapped oval-cylinder-esque thing nestled neatly in the papers. Dell picked it up and turned it over, noting its weight, the lumpiness on one side.

He brought it over to his desk and sat down, and with the utmost care and delicacy stripped the newspaper off of his present. Exposing it, Dell touched his knuckles to his lips and smiled dumbly in the privacy of his workroom.

It was a little sentry-- hastily repainted blue, it looked like, made from a soda bottle and some forks. It was beyond Soldier's capacity to make, but it was nowhere near Dell's own expertise; probably made by the RED Engineer. It was only partially assembled, with the legs yet to be attached, and Dell set them aside, turning the sentry's body over in his hands. It had a little sensor and an activity light, a little tiny muzzle no bigger around than Dell's metal pinky finger, a little tiny cord attached to the back for software upgrades.

It was adorable. It was the cutest damn thing Dell had ever seen in his entire life, and he loved children, and puppies, but God damn. He turned it over and took one of its legs, eyeing the brackets idly. There were some screws missing, little tiny screws he had lying around everywhere. Maybe five minutes, tops, plus whatever time it took to upgrade its AI to Dell's personal satisfaction. An afternoon's work.

He touched the little tiny muzzle and wondered if it actually shot bullets. Did they even make bullets that small? Lord. The last thing he needed was another project, but this one had the added interest of not being built by his own hands; Cottson didn't have Dell's magic touch with machines, but he was a battle-hardened mechanic in his own right, and razor-sharp with his trigonometry besides. (And a sadistic son of a bitch, though that was a different story.) Any creation of his, death-related or not, was one Dell wanted to investigate.

Damn, but Soldier knew how to pick out a gift. Dell gently set the mini-mini-sentry back in its box along with its little fork-legs, getting up to search for a few #12 screws, wondering idly whether Soldier'd had any help picking it out. He doubted the RED Engineer would've made it special order for him; it was probably stolen, and that just lit up Dell's heart a little bit more knowing the RED was probably turning his place upside down looking for the darn thing.

Served him right.

With a palm full of #12 screws, Dell went back over to his desk and took out the tiny sentry and its parts, scattering them across his desk in specific positions that only made sense to him; he took a screw and the sentry in one hand, a fork-leg in the other, and started to put it together.

\--

"Och, will ye stop bloody worryin' aboot whether he liked the bleedin' sentry're not? He's fookin' Dell Conagher fer Chrissakes, of course he'll like it." Tavish waggled his bottle of scrumpy at the pacing American from his spot on top of a grenade crate. "Sit doon n' have a drink, will ye? Calm yer nerves a lil'."

Jane made a noncommittal noise and plopped down roughly next to Tavish, still scowling; Tavish shoved the bottle into his hand. "Drink. Ye're gon' t' give yerself an ulcer worryin' aboot it."

"I am not going to get an ulcer," Jane retorted. "You are going to get an ulcer because all you drink is this- this-" He eyed the bottle and took a swig, then grimaced and shivered all over, handing the bottle back. The RED Demoman laughed and knocked the bottle against Jane's helmet.

"All you Americans with ye piss water swill an' ye think this is horrible stuff. I've 'ad the good stuff, let me tell ye!" Tavish knocked back a mouthfull and gargled with it before swallowing and coughing.

"Is that 'the good stuff'?" Jane pointed to the bottle. Tavish eyed it, considered, then shook his head.

"No, but it's cheap an' that's what matters. Drink up." Tavish handed the bottle back; Jane made a face at it and sipped delicately this time, ignoring Tavish's muffled snickering against the back of his hand.

"Ye said this is where ye usually meet with 'em, right?" The Demoman took the bottle back, swishing its contents around; Jane nodded. He looked worried, his lower lip jutting out in a deeper pout than usual, though his helmet was tilted down enough to cover his face down to his nose.

Poor lovesick bird that he was. Fine enough he had to fall in love with a man in the first place (and keep Tavish awake till the wee hours complaining about it), but a BLU, to top it off. Every once in a while when Tavish was sober enough he'd sit himself down and seriously rethink helping Jane with his little Romeo and Juliet endeavor, and every time he came to the same answer: there was no way Jane could do it without him, so of course he had to help.

"Ye know one thing, lad," Tavish said finally after a long minute's silence. Jane jerked his head around to look at him. "If Gale there asks me where his li'l sentry went off ta, what'm I gon t' say t' him?"

"Tell him it was conscripted into duty, of course," Jane said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Drafted, that's the word."

"Drafted t' do what, lad? It can't shoot bullets."

"It ca-" Jane suddenly looked horrified. "Then what is Engie going to guard his blueprints with? I thought it could shoot bullets! You told me it could shoot bullets!"

"I said nothin' of the sort! I jus' said it looked like it ought t' be able ta!"

"What is he going to do with a sentry that can't shoot bullets? I gave him a useless gift!" Jane leapt to his feet, going back to his pacing routine. "How am I going to find him a small sentry that shoots bullets now?"

"Well ye can't rightly ask Gale now can ye?" Tavish waggled the bottle of scrumpy at the RED Soldier; Jane looked like he was close to stomping his foot out of frustration, the poor thing. "Why are ye worryin' aboot it so much? If he's such a good Engineer he'll prob'ly make it so it can shoot bullets an' have a fine time doin' it. Relax. Drink some more."

Jane folded his arms like a cross child and leaned against the crate, refusing the offered bottle. Tavish tapped his drink against Jane's shoulder gently, then scooted over a little closer to him until their knees touched. "I tell ye what, even if he don't like it I'm sure he's the sort of lad what would appreciate the effort of it. Ye stole it from Gale, fer Chrissakes."

"I did not steal it. I repossessed it. He should not be using resources provided for battle for his own amusement." Jane set his shoulders straight and glared at a tree off in the distance.

"Versus you takin' somethin' t' give it to yer li'l boy crush?" Tavish ducked instinctively, and good that he did too, because Jane had some awful fast reflexes when he was mad and there was his fist aiming for Tavish's general jaw/face area. So predictable.

"He is not my 'little boy crush'!" Jane bellowed, but his cheeks were already flushing red. "What do you know about crushes anyways? When was the last time you had anything resembling a romantic relationship?"

"Don't change the subject!" Tavish shoved Jane's shoulder, and so wrapped up was he in defending his honor that neither he nor the RED Soldier noticed a figure in a blue uniform come up from behind the shed and pause to watch them. "For all I know ya two could be nine years old in yer li'l school uniforms passin' notes ta each other in class, ye're so in love! It's disgustin'!"

"Then why are you readin' our notes?"

Tavish spun around, raising his bottle threateningly; Jane puffed up like a defensive cat and then deflated instantly upon recognizing their visitor. "Dell!" the RED Soldier exclaimed.

"Shh- shh, someone'll hear." The BLU Engineer laughed and reached his arms out, accepting Jane's excited hug eagerly. "Agh- easy, you'll crush me."

"Ye're late, lad," Tavish said, but he smiled warmly all the same. How could he not, when Jane was so obviously overjoyed? "He's been worryin' his wee head off about yer gift the whole time. Was a sight to see."

"I was not," Jane objected, but it was horribly weak and Dell stood up on his tiptoes and kissed his chin and that distracted the Soldier well enough. What had Tavish been saying about nine-year-olds in school uniforms? Ridiculous, the both of them were.

"You can stop worryin' now. I put it all together an' I activated it. Darn cute thing it is too, sittin' on my desk like that. Where'd y'all find it?" He wrapped his arm around Jane's waist and Jane wrapped his arm around Dell's shoulders, like a sideways hug; it warmed Tavish's cold heart to see and at the same time it made him rub his tongue against his teeth to check for cavities. Disgusting.

"Jane took it from Gale when 'is back was turned." Tavish laughed, noting Dell's almost predatory chuckle in reply. "He was makin' it as a li'l side project an' we figured it's been a while since he had one of his li'l _mysteries_ ta solve." The Scot grinned toothily; Dell returned it, apparently favoring a similar opinion towards the RED Engineer. "Did ya figure a way t' rig it t' shoot bullets?"

"No, not yet, but it shouldn't be that hard. You know those little balls that go in the tips of ballpoint pens?" Dell made a pinching motion with his right hand; internally Tavish flinched at the obvious unhumanness of the hand underneath that glove. "Those would be about the right size, I think. That or I can jus' make 'em myself out of scrap metal. Shouldn't be too hard."

"See, lad, this is what I told ya, he's turned it int' a right project now! He kept worryin' his fool head about it not shootin' bullets," Tavish clarified at Dell's confused look. "Got himself in a tizzy about it."

"I did not 'get in a tizzy about it'," Jane snapped, jutting a finger out at Tavish. "You said it shot bullets."

"I did not say it shot bullets!" The RED Demoman considered splashing his drink at Jane, but then it'd probably get on Dell-- they were attached at the hip this time around, the lovebirds-- and he wasn't familiar enough with the man to know if he could handle him mad or not.

"Now, now," Dell said, laughing. He patted Jane's chest and the Soldier instantly settled a little, to Tavish's surprise. "It don't matter whether it shoots bullets right now. The important thing is that it will shoot bullets, and they'll be little itty-bitty tiny bullets-" Dell made a pinching motion right in front of Jane's nose and laughed at the face he made. "And it'll be adorable. Thing's like a little newborn sentry beepin' around. I updated its AI - artifical intelligence - so it's a little smarter than the guys I put out on the battlefield. I'm hopin' the program I put into it will learn on its own fast instead'a me havin' t' update it every other week--"

"Lad, I'm sure this is all well and interestin' but you're speakin' Greek here," Tavish interrupted gently. "Tell ye what, I'll go get us another bottle'o scrumpy t'share an' ye c'n find some smaller words, huh?"

"Alright, alright." Dell looked a little sour at being cut short but he laughed anyways; he was probably used to dumbing down his speeches for laymen. Tavish slid off of his perch and headed back to the mess hall to get another bottle, partially because he wanted to be courteous, partially to make sure he had the rest of his bottle to himself, but also because it was only polite to give Jane some privacy with his little man.

But mostly because he wanted to keep his bottle.

\--


End file.
